Mr Nice Guy Finishes First

I recently took part in a competition and I won!!!

Dark Carnval Site

The competition was hosted by The Dark Carnival; a place I like to believe is Geek Paradise. Granted you will be tempted to spend every cent you have but its worth it. You don’t need to pay the electricity bill when you can buy a Star Wars Light Sabre to light the way and your hunger will be satisfied with a feast of collector edition action figures. What u do need is clothes, and boy oh boy will you look spiffy in Sheldon’s Bazinga shirts!!!

Superhero or Super Villain

The competition topic was “What is your story? Do you have super powers? Are you good or bad? Even put up a pic, if you like. We want to know all about it. What Would Be Your Secret Superhero/Villain Identity?”

Have you ever thought about having a power and what will you do with it?

So I present my winning entry…

My Secret Identity…. Yes I am a hero…I didn’t come up with that title on my own. No true hero calls themselves a hero. It’s a title that can only be obtained by fighting against evil, noble self-sacrifices for the better good, daring adventures and wearing your underpants over your pants. Even with these heroic traits, you are not a true hero until someone calls you “their hero”.

Fortunately for me, this is what many a damsel has called me. However I will add the super part and make it superhero. Has a better sound to it. Besides if Batman can get away with not having any superpowers and still be referred to as a superhero then so can I!

But I do have a few abilities that Batsy-poo doesn’t have….I mean sure he got his athletic ability, martial art skills, gadgets, cars, deductions skills, secret lair, a butler, money, power, sidekicks but what I have is my speed. Not just normal quick, Im talking greasy lightning The Flash speed. So quick in fact that every girl I have been with had this amazed look on their face and I just nod and smirk “yeah babe, Im done” Surprisingly my quickness does not play into my heroics.

Nicer than Rock Lee

Look up in the sky…its probably a bird or a plane coz its definitely not me. I am definitely around but you don’t see me or even notice me. My name…Mr Nice Guy and have a doormat as a cape . Used to have a handkerchief cape but too many people blew their nose into it and it became a nightmare to wash.

I’m the guy that picks up the stuff your kid throws out of the trolley in the supermarket and hands it back to you. The one who sees u struggling with your packets and comes over to help you coz for some reason it didn’t make sense to you to use a trolley…that’s me. Sure the car guards hate me but every hero needs a gang to go up against. And they are a riley bunch with their glow in the dark costumes and sudden appearance from behind trees…but I am quite the artful dodger myself.

Your car is pulled over to the side of the road and all you see is people zooming pass you…gawking. I’m not one of them gawkers. Despite being mechanically inept, I do have only thing that will help any car pulled over to the side of the road. A cell phone for you to call insurance, a friend, a tow truck company or 1023. Coz when you are having a “car pulled over to the side of the road day” your phone is either dead or does not have the contact details you need.

I believe evil prevails when good people do nothing. Unfortunately we don’t have a pending alien invasion or a mastermind with plans to dominate the world (China is dominating by default so they dont count). So what do we have to make us heroes?

For me its manners and being nice, not just normal nice but very, very nice-borderline-inappropriate nice. Ever thought about a go to guy? The one you will call if you were too drunk to drive, having problems with you work, partner or landlord? Well it seems I missed the boat on making a fortune coz if I had 5c for every person who calls me their go-to-guy well I will have lots of 5c, maybe enough to fill Scrooge McDuck’s money tower.

Ghandi Thought...Rocky Slurred it

Rocky said a lot more than ADRIAN

My heroic motto is be the change you want to see in others. I know when I am in a queue with two items and have someone with a trolley full in front of me, it would be nice if they offer to swop but they don’t. So when the tables are reversed I always swop…get the best reward ever…no not a lap dance but a thank you. In the words of Rocky Balboa “If I’z can change…and you’z can change…Everybody can change”.

But I digress…back to my secret identity.

A typical day in the office for most is working…for me its working and playing hero. I am proud that my colleagues have come to realize ask me for help. I have jump started cars and broken into cars (keys were locked inside) and taken care of insurance issues. Help carrying boxes or just needing a lift to the local shop, I am your guy.

Not all cars can be broken in to. I have driven someone from work to their home (20kms) away to pick up their spare key. Twice. There is no greater feeling than knowing you are someone’s hero.

 Shout Shazam and you may be transformed into a powerful being, with…

 S The wisdom of Solomon;

 H The strength of Hercules;

A The stamina of Atlas;

Z The power of Zeus;

A The courage of Achilles;

M The speed of Mercury.

My SHAZAM works a little differently. The wisdom of Google; whenever I want to know something I just type “how to…” in Google , on a side note I noticed “make love” is the always the first hint that comes up and the video is 5 minutes…note to self – upload how it can be done in two seconds.

The strength and power of an Egg shell; yes my strength is powerful from within and when its ready I will break through my meek shell to reveal a hulking monster.

Did I Do That (I had to type that)

 The stealth of an Ewok – cute, fuzzy and scrappy! I can disappear as quickly I appear to help.

 The valor of a Knight. Always carry an handkerchief in my pocket. As a token to the princesses I save…and I have nose bleeds.

 So, when you hear a distant shout of GEEK know I am going into superhero mode…or getting my butt whipped.

I have a scream too. Yes a shriek so devastating you will think I am the love child of Queen Sindel and Banshee. Many moons ago I was on a school camp and we were trekking through the woods. We all were weary and wanted to go back to the campsite. Our teachers said we needed to hike. I came across a spider and let of a glass shattering scream. When I calmed down the teachers asked me what was wrong…I stammered spider. Based on my scream they figured it was a huge spider, but it was a small one. But my shriek made them think it is safer to head back to camp. I saved my teammates from fresh air and exercise…till this day the teacher’s believe it was a huge spider, friends believe it was my plan to shriek and get back to camp but now you know the truth – I have a girly scream. So be it in brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight, let those who worship evil’s dream, beware the power of my mighty girly scream!!!

 So why my need to be a hero…guess like Hercules

 “I have often dreamed, of a far off place, where a hero’s welcome, would be waiting for me. Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face. And a voice keeps saying, this is where I’m meant to be, I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance. I will find my way, if I can be strong, When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong. It might take a lifetime, but somehow I’ll see it through. And I won’t look back, I can go the distance. And I’ll stay on track, no, I won’t accept defeat. It’s an uphill slope, but I won’t lose hope. Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete. But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part, for a hero’s strength is measured by his heart. Like a shooting star, I will go the distance, I will search the world, I will face its harms, I don’t care how far, I can go the distance. Till I find my hero’s welcome, I will search the world, I will face its harms”.

Truth be told –my hero complex comes from the ideological mythos from the superhero universe…and I channelled my OCD in to niceness…a question I ask myself daily…will I die a nice guy or live long enough to see myself become a meanie?