S7 E2
Narrator: Previously on Lost:
Losties were in the white light
A burst of blinding light…enter Ben
LOST
Ben: hello and welcome to my world
Hurley: Dude, what do you mean, I thought you were my number
two
Sawyer: hate to say it jubba, but I reckon your number two
is a lot bigger and smellier than ol bug eyes.
Ben: Amusing, tell me, did you really think the island I
were done with you people.
Jack: We are done with you, we are where we are meant to be
– see I can be a man of faith too
Ben: You people are where you have always been, in paradise,
the island. Jack, do you really think you are dead?
Jack: yes I am dead, that smoke monster poked me…and then he
stabbed
Ben: where did he stab you?
Jack lifts his shirt and takes off his bra to reveal his
waxed chest.
Ben: Hmm, he stabbed you in your appendix? Is that what
caused your death?
Jack: I am a leading surgeon and licensed medical
practitioner and I can tell you that my fatal injury came from being stabbed in
my appendix with a blunt knife
Ben: I am not sure what lucky packet you found your license
in but didn’t Juliet remove your appendix in Season 4? So are you dead Jack?
Faraday: wrong, wrong
you are wrong. Wrong is what you are, I need to explain this to you but I don’t
have any crayons. I will use lame man’s, no offence Mr. Locke, terminology: We
are here, in this place that we aren’t in. The vector of somethingmajig is indirectly
proportional to the direct proportionate of a thingamabob which in essence
explains the normal abnormality surrounding
the nothingness that is space and time that has allowed a paranormal activity
that to us seems normal and is in fact an abnormally adjacent parallel
perpendicular point in time.
Sawyer: virgin
Faraday: you know, I may not be the tall, muscular man candy
and my matty hair does not frolic sexily in the wind as yours, but I am the
only one here that can explain what is going on and I demand an apology.
Sawyer: Well in that case, I apologise, I meant twitchy
virgin…oh and I nailed charlotte, did you.
Faraday: YES, she may have died a few minutes earlier but her
body wasn’t that cold
Charlotte: I think it was is sweet, reminded me of when a
weird man gave me candy, made me sit on his lap and we went back and forth, up
and down, that was the best swing ride ever.
Boone: John, Ive been waiting for you.
John: Boone, I am
sorry, it was the island that decided our fate, the island is responsible for
what happened to us. The island needed you to climb the hill and sacrifice your
life. The island demanded it!
Boone: that is not true
John: Ok, fine, you are right I was just too tired to climb
up that damn hill
Boone: you want to know something Mr Locke
John: yes Boone, what is it
Boone: John Locke cant do anything, John Locke cant walk,
John Locke cant grow hair, John Locke cant even kill himself
John: don’t tell me what I CANT do
Boone: john, john he’s our man, he CANT do it and everyone
else can
John: want to know what else I can’t do
Boone: what else cant you do
John: make bang- bang with my sister
Sayid looking deep in thought.
Desmond: Penny for your thoughts, Brotha
Sayid: I have had your Penny, that is why I am so drained of energy
Desmond: Nor, it can be tru' not my Penny
Sawyer: Sorry to break it to ya Shrek, but Penny is called Penny for a reason -
violating her like a parking a meter will only cost you a penny.
Sayid: I made a sacred promise never to torture again. It would seem karma has
caught up to me for your Penny is a better a torturer than I
Sawyer: Did she use the iron tail whip and thunder-stick 2000 on you too
Aladdin?
Desmond: I was sent to give you a message, brotha.
Jack: Let me guess, see you in another life, brother
Desmond: Nor, it is …my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and
damn right its better than yours. I can teach you but I have to charge
“doof”LOST
